He wouldn't spoon it into his own net
First thing is I love the African teams, especially Nigeria. Vincent Enyeama looked like he was taking it all very seriously which is why it’s a shame we couldn’t have given him a British passport. I have a theory about goalkeepers. Unusual hair, short sleeves, coloured boots or jogging bottoms are all signs that the only involvement with white sticks they should have is using one to avoid lamp posts and litter bins. Sadly Robert ‘Patty Cake’ Green wasn’t showing any outward signs of ‘Crappygoalitis’, although he did manage to rupture his own ligaments taking a goal kick before so nothing should really come as a surprise.
It’s not a huge disaster at the end of the day because Algeria and Slovenia-or-Slovakia both look absolute pony. The England USA game also made me see how bad a soldier I would be. At one point they showed the US soldiers celebrating alongside a load of glum faced British soldiers, which for me would be enough to make me join the Taleban.
Also the vuvuzelas: I’m all for embracing the culture of the host country and so on but these things are really pissing me off now. It’s like every match has a 90 minute long Kid A soundtrack.
Fucking stop it
PS – ITV what the hell is wrong with you? You produce 1,000’s of hours of crappy live TV every year yet every time someone has scored a goal you need to make us watch adverts? After we went to 1 -1 the thought of some poor technician being fired really warmed my cockles.
PPS – I called the 1-1 draw pre-match, just ask anyone I know.
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